fly away...

feeling depressed again. i guess this feeling will stay with me till end of sept! =( having another batch coming, so my one month procedure will repeat after this round.

i am a very bad researcher. i am a murderer. who can be more careless n cruel than me? haiz.. really feel like crying. my mind is occupied by the death of my 2nd rat today. i found a dead rat agn this morning.. its body is cold n stiff. it mus have died long time ago due to rigor mortis seen. i am very bad. my tears are goshing out. then my LO came to dissect it, i can see all its organs and when she said his lungs are a little red (meaning i had caused bleeding in his lungs due to my stupid hand inserting the tube to the wrong place) i feel like an empty soul since then.. why am i so bad? very scared tat it may happen agn. everyday just carry hope to sch that none will die.. really developing a phobia in feeding them =( i cant help but worry whenever i deal w my mickeys just now. anyway they can not cheap at all!! one rat is equal to the price of 250 plates of chicken rice and i just wasted 500plates of chicken rice this week =(((

sorry mickey 16. i always tot u're the most guai of all.. but u left me too. go find mickey 19 asap and have some company in the future k.

tough decision making time again. add/drop. i need some clue